Goodbye Rye, Hello Ye?
By Bruce Farnsworth and Rachel Steele
Kanye has his eye on Rye.
According to attorneys for divorces based in Newport Beach, since the news of his high-profile divorce from Kim Kardashian broke, hip-hop super star and fashion mogul Kanye West has reportedly been spending an increasing amount of time in Rye, New York due to the town name’s likeness to his own. Mr. West has filed paperwork for “Rye” to drop the “R” from its name and rebrand to “Ye,” permanently. According to one source close to Mr. West who asked not to be identified, West “wants to move East for a while. Kanye isn’t into L.A.’s fakeness right now… people are so quick to judge him and he’s a really sensitive dude. He wants to live somewhere that people don’t care about material goods. Somewhere that’s not all about fancy cars and keeping up with the Joneses. And Rye is the low-key, down to earth place where he feels comfortable right now.”
Mr. West has reportedly been seen in the company of local realtors scouting properties — one on Manursing Way, another on Forest Avenue, and a third on Boston Post Road, where Mrs. Green’s formerly stood. His plan is to turn one of the properties into his home, another into a “music studio/creative think-tank,” and the third into a church to bring his famed Sunday Services to the town of “Ye”. West is said to have spoken with religious leaders of all faiths about an “inclusive experience that will draw crowds from across the state.”
Another source close to West said, “Kanye wants to move somewhere low-key where people will be receptive to the impact he can make. He has big, big plans for Ye and is highly motivated to make this happen. He’s also a Longford’s man.”
Rye officials may be “highly motivated” by West’s offer to dedicate 10 percent of his wealth (estimated at $1,000,000,000 by Forbes) to erase both the City and School bond debt in full.
And in return, all West is asking is for the town to drop the ‘R’ from its name. “You’d have to be insane not to take that kind of money to just drop a letter, right?” he is rumored to have asked his team of agents.
So long property taxes! Hello happy days.
We’ll keep you posted on this developing story. Meanwhile, anyone with information should contact email@example.com.