By Effie Thomas
It’s surreal for me to think I’m heading into my senior year at James Madison University. Time flies, but I’ll be honest, I haven’t always felt as grounded and clear-headed as I do now. Before the start of my junior year, I asked myself a question that completely changed everything: “Do I really love myself?” Not in a surface-level way. Not the kind of love that’s tied to grades, social media likes, or how productive I was this week. I mean real, honest love, the kind that shows up even when no one’s watching.
And if I was being truthful with myself … the answer back then was, “no.”
I spent the first half of my college experience constantly pouring into everything but me. I wasn’t checking in with how I felt mentally, emotionally, or physically. I was running on autopilot, busy but not balanced, surrounded by people yet disconnected from myself. And it started to show. I felt stuck, burnt out, and just not like the version of me I wanted to be. But that question, “Do I really love myself?” woke something inside of me. I realized that loving myself meant more than just self-care on Sundays. It meant showing up for myself every single day. So, I began doing exactly that.
I started journaling every morning, even when my thoughts felt messy. I committed to 30-minute walks when I woke up: just me, fresh air, and no pressure. It wasn’t always easy. Consistency felt uncomfortable at first, but I reminded myself that I was worth the effort. And slowly, things started to shift. My mood lifted. My skin started glowing. I felt more present, more energized, more myself. I started fueling my body more intentionally, not because I “had to,” but because I wanted to take care of myself. I chose foods that made me feel energized, focused, and strong. I wasn’t chasing perfection, I was building a life that felt like home inside my own body and mind.
Here’s what I’ve learned: once you start choosing yourself, the world responds. When you love yourself deeply, you attract people, habits, and experiences that match that energy. Everything starts to align. Not because life gets easier, but because you get stronger. Now, as I step into my senior year, I feel proud. Not just of what I’ve done, but of who I’ve become. This version of me? She’s not perfect, but she’s powerful. She’s grounded. She’s in love with her journey, her growth, and her future.
And it all started with one question. Do I really love myself? Ask yourself the same. Then start showing up for the answer. I know my younger self would look at me now and say, “I’m proud of you.” And that makes every step of the journey worth it.
Thomas is a Rye High School alumna and social work intern for the Rye Youth Council.
