Phone apps can be like gambling: They often provide rewards that keep us coming back for more. Their addictive nature makes it difficult for kids (and even adults) to step away from their devices.
“So much of our phones are designed like these slot machines,” activist Max Stossel told a packed room at The Rye Free Reading Room on Sept. 26. “Every time we hit those little red icons we’re playing that slot machine of, ‘what did I get this time?’ or for kids, ‘did the person I really wanted to, see my story?’ … Sometimes they did and sometimes they didn’t, which keeps us checking and checking.”
Stossel, founder of The Social Awakening, an organization that aims to help teens, schools, and parents survive and thrive in today’s digital world, is known for his ability to not only educate parents, but to also communicate like a peer with kids. He can often inspire audience members to delete social media apps from their phone during his talks.
The event was co-sponsored by The Rye Youth Council and IRL, an organization that wants to change the way people relate to their cell phones and social media.
Stossel, a filmmaker and poet, talked about Tik Tok, Instagram, and Snapchat, the unique experience each provides and how they work. He emphasized the broader impact these apps are having on kids’ lives, such as a rise in depression and suicide. He supports phone-free schools and applauded groups like Wait Until 8th and IRL, which are pushing for delays in smartphone use.
“This is hard and we’re all doing our best, and getting on the same team with our kids and schools about this is really helpful,” Stossel said.

He also said parents need to help children navigate away from these devices in ways that are sustainable and not hypocritical. For instance, he suggested that you can’t just take away an app that connects kids to their friends, you need to let them know how they can remain in touch with friends without it.
And he urged parents to model healthy technology usage in front of their kids.
His talk at the library, where he addressed parents, was followed by two sessions for children on the same day — the first at Rye Middle School in the afternoon, and the second at Osborn Elementary School in the evening.
IRL, a Rye nonprofit, was started last spring and aligns with Stossel’s sentiments for delaying smartphone use and addressing the challenges of tech oversaturation. In addition to bringing in speakers, IRL is planning events that encourage more childhood experiences “in real life.” IRL plans to host a beach day on Monday, Oct. 14 at Rye Beach from 1 to 3 p.m.
Stossel plans to return to Rye on Oct. 21 at 7 p.m. at Rye Country Day School as part of the Heard in Rye speaker series. The event is free and open to all.