Off the Cuff: November 21, 2014

The vocabulary of wine has long been a source of amusement, starting perhaps decades ago with the first wine writer who described a red or white as “unpretentious.”

November 21, 2014
3 min read
off-the-cuff TH

off-the-cuff THThe vocabulary of wine has long been a source of amusement, starting perhaps decades ago with the first wine writer who described a red or white as “unpretentious.”

By Allen Clark

off-the-cuff LARGEThe vocabulary of wine has long been a source of amusement, starting perhaps decades ago with the first wine writer who described a red or white as “unpretentious.” While serious business for the serious wine collector or beverage columnist for big-city newspapers and food and wine magazines, the average Joe found describing a sip of wine a bit challenging. I’ve been collecting wine adjectives for several decades. Many college reunions ago, I came up with the idea of branding our class as the “Grand Cru Classe” of “Chateau XYZ College.” Each reunion, I looked for new ways to describe us, ranging from “elegant,” “finessed,” “lush,” and “should improve with age” to “complicated,” “full-bodied,” “unbalanced,” and “bottle-aged.” My best source turned out to be wine columns. With growing audiences, each columnist needed to find one or two hot-button words that would catch the reader’s eye. Adjective, and sometimes noun, escalation followed. It seemed they were playing a sort of wine “Can You Top This.”

Recently, there’s been a spate of wine clubs and direct-response wine sites online. The challenge to outshine others in experiential verbiage has never been higher. But there’s one outfit that clearly deserves 100 points. Wine Access (www.wineaccess.com) takes the gold medal. Because I’ve been caught in their web (pun intended), and have placed a couple of orders (satisfying and at good prices), I seem to get new offerings with increasing frequency. Better than the wines or the deals, though, is the joy of text (sorry). Let me share a few.

Talking about the offered “powerhouse” selection, the site gushes, “Dark, brooding aromas of cassis, licorice, dark chocolate, and graphite.” (I often wonder how much lead I want in my wine.)

 

They continue, “Plush yet finely delineated, packed with sweet black-fruit preserves, dense and quite weighty, finishing with almost sneaky, supple tannins.” (Look out! Here come those sneaky tannins!) For an earlier selection they offered this assessment, “Rich, weighty, and MASSIVELY concentrated on the attack, yet still marvelously delicate.” If only some people we know could balance their personalities that nicely. And this. “Rich, dense, chewy, and almost briery in texture, the attack features a plush blend of blackberry and black raspberry preserves, all the fabulous 2007 opulence buttressed by refined, dusty-tannin backbone.” Whew!

If you want an even more concentrated wine-reading experience, there’s The Wine Advocate. Its description of the 2009 Screaming Eagle Cabernet (96 points): “Slightly peppery nose” and “ratchets up the level of concentration with pure black currant and black cherry fruit, as well as licorice and lead pencil shavings…” (There’s that lead again. I wonder if it’s a No. 2 or 3?) Phrases like “lead pencil shavings” certainly make one stop for a moment. Especially at a reported $2,200 a bottle.

Before I cork this particular article, let me leave you with a few other examples of the cultivated wine checklist. “Utterly brilliant … magnificent, viscerally thrilling.” “Powerful, plush and palate-staining on the attack.” (A little alliteration helps.) “Exotically voluptuous and velour-like in texture.” “High-toned and juicy.” “Aromas of crushed black fruits, sweet herbs, tar and tobacco.” (It’s hard to know which holds more appeal, “lead pencil shavings” or “tar and tobacco.” Of course, there also is “barnyard” and “redolent of loamy earth.”)

Inevitably, Wine Access ends with advice to lay down the featured wine for a decade or so. You, on the other hand, after a surfeit of enthusiastic wine words, may just want to lie down for an hour or two or at least until dinnertime and then decide on which wine to serve.  That “unpretentious” pinot noir? Or the “incredibly dense and virtually impenetrable” cab?

 

 

Filed Under:
Subscribe and get freshly baked articles. Join the community!
Begin typing your search above and press return to search. Press Esc to cancel.

kuwin

iplwin

my 11 circle

betway

jeetbuzz

satta king 786

betvisa

winbuzz

dafabet

rummy nabob 777

rummy deity

yono rummy

shbet

kubet

winbuzz

daman games

winbuzz

betvisa

betvisa

betvisa

baji999

marvelbet

krikya

Dbbet

Nagad88

Babu88

Six6s

Bhaggo

Elonbet

yono rummy

rummy glee

rummy perfect

rummy nabob

rummy modern

rummy wealth

jeetbuzz

iplwin

yono rummy

rummy deity

rummy app

betvisa

lotus365

hi88

8day

97win

n88

red88

king88

j88

i9bet

good88

nohu78

99ok

bet168

betvisa

satta king

satta matta matka

betvisa

mostplay

4rabet

leonbet

pin up

mostbet

rummy modern

Fastwin Login

Khela88

Fancywin

Jita Ace

Betjili

Betvisa

Babu88

jeetwin

nagad88

jaya9

joya 9

khela88

babu88

babu888

mostplay

marvelbet

baji999

abbabet

Jaya9

Mostbet

MCW

Jeetwin

Babu88

Nagad88

Betvisa

Marvelbet

Baji999

Jeetbuzz

Mostplay

Jwin7

Melbet

Betjili

Six6s

Krikya

Jitabet

Glory Casino

Betjee

Jita Ace

Crickex

Winbdt

PBC88

R777

Jitawin

Khela88

Bhaggo