Reasons Why This Isn’t a Totally Lost Christmas
By Spence Stapleton III & Clive Cumberbatch IV
There is no question that 2020 will go down as one of the most tragic and traumatic years in modern times. But as English theologian Thomas Fuller keenly observed, “It is always darkest just before the day dawneth.” And that day is approaching with 2020 coming to a close.
Notwithstanding the pandemic, we found a number of causes for celebration.
- This year, when you told your wife, “I don’t feel comfortable asking your mom to travel all this way for Christmas…”, it was no questions asked, and the Oscar went to You.
- You won’t have to sit through another cutesy, holiday romcom at the multiplex because none is coming to a theater near you.3. It’s okay if your secular friends refer to Hulu, Netflix, and HBO Max as the Holy Trinity.4. Near-zero judgment for beers at 11 a.m. (Note: 10 Am is still pushing it.)
5. Your daughter’s semester abroad to Barcelona has been cancelled. She will not, therefore, be eloping with a dashing but untrustworthy swain named Juan Pablo.
6. Your NFL gambling losses have been zeroed out because you’ve saved so much in plane flights, restaurants, clothes.
7. Couldn’t snag a PlayStation 5 for your kid in time? Stay up just a little bit later tomorrow night and catch him sneaking out. He’ll suddenly become very, very understanding.
8. You won’t be cornered by that snooty relative who enjoys boring you to tears with a laundry list of his recent travels to resorts you’ve never heard of and his latest business triumphs.
9. When next Christmas rolls around, you will be glad to see all those relatives you avoided this year.