“What will you build because you knew Hamish Fenton?”
With a nod to Hamish’s love of Legos, the Rev. Matt Stone of Christ’s Church called him a “master builder” who used the “bumps and rough parts” to connect and to create beauty — just as the Fenton family used the hardest thing imaginable to connect with us all.
In September 2023, Hamish was diagnosed with NUT Carcinoma, an exceedingly rare cancer. Every day since, the Fenton family (who relocated to Rye from their native Australia in 2021) worked to find a cure while supporting, playing, wrestling, building, teasing, and fiercely loving their son and brother. That work, commitment, and love did not end when Hamish, 14, died on June 2. In fact, it was on full display five days later at a funeral that felt more like a house party — a party built by Hamish.
“Hamish’s fingerprints are all over this service. He wanted to put the ‘fun’ in funeral,” Stone said at the start of a memorial that included mini Lego figurines wearing purple capes handed out to remind attendees to carry Hamish’s kindness, humor, and courage with them always; songs by some of his favorite artists, Zach Bryan, Harry Styles, Coldplay, Billy Joel; a parable about a dragonfly whose newly acquired wings prevent him from returning to tell his friends how beautiful life is above the lily pad; a poem riddled with the words “positivity, tenacity, grace, and light;” a stream of family photos and videos of Hamish riding waves, hugging teammates, playing a toy piano for his baby sister, running onto the field at MetLife Stadium alongside his beloved New York Giants, pumping up the crowd.
“Hamish was the best Giant,” his brother Jagger, 17, told a congregation that included New York Giants owner John Mara, his wife, and siblings.
All three of Hamish’s siblings shared memories. Archer, 19, recalled Hamish’s bright and buoyant sense of humor: “One of the last times I got to see him, I told him how much I loved him, and his immediate response was: ‘What’s not to love?’”
Hamish’s older brothers played football and rugby at Rye High School. Jagger said his favorite memory was seeing Hamish in the stands. “No matter the weather, no matter how far away, Hamish was there, every touchdown, every punt, every big win, even every tough loss. I knew I could look up and see him cheering for me.”
Reflecting on his brother’s innate kindness and how he showed up for everyone around him despite harrowing surgeries and rounds of treatments, Jagger said: “He didn’t fight with anger. He fought with love. … If you take one thing away from this story, lead with love.
“And if you have a brother, hug him tight today,” he said.
As the boys returned to their seats amid applause, a little girl’s voice announced: “He was the best older brother. Please don’t be sad,” said Lola, 9, Hamish’s little sister. “He wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
Said Mom Cassie Fenton: “One of the few times I saw Hamish cry is when I told him he couldn’t marry his sister.” She shared that Hamish had picked out the purple and light green dresses that she and Lola were wearing.
Cassie followed her son’s lead. From a young age, she said, “he was a most calming presence. He was my guide.”
Cassie and Gus Fenton took turns sharing happy memories. “His life was not defined by cancer,” Cassie said, noting that Hamish wanted it known that he was the best athlete in the family. They expressed awe and gratitude for their sons, daughter, extended family, friends who became family, neighbors, teachers, and members of the medical community working to find a cure for NUT Carcinoma.
Gus thanked Cassie, who “over the past three years learned a whole new world of scans and treatments and clinical trials. She asked all the hard questions and never stopped fighting for Hamish. Working tirelessly with doctors and researchers behind the scenes, often unbeknownst to Hamish, she allowed him to attend more birthdays and football games, ride more waves, and spend more time with friends and family.”
Throughout their cancer journey, Cassie — like Hamish connecting the bumpy side of his Legos — frequently shared details of their good days, awful moments, small victories, and setbacks on her Facebook page, “Hammer Strikes Back.” She wrote openly about the ravages of the disease; the work of Dr. Michael V. Ortiz and researchers at Memorial Sloan Kettering; the kindness of strangers and struggles of other cancer patients; the small joys Hamish found in time with his friends and siblings; the temporary yet profound relief of family getaways to the ocean; or time with the New York Giants, who took Hamish in as one of their own. Cassie shared her raw heartbreak, joy, and gratitude, and in doing so allowed her kids, her family, her friends, her neighbors, and the entire Rye community to walk beside her.
And along the way, the community walked, ran, and cheered for Hamish, Cassie, Gus, Archer, Jagger, and Lola, dropping off meals, shaving heads, polar plunging, wearing purple tiaras (Hamish’s favorite color). Rye took its cue from a family that led with nothing but love and light and the town did its best to shine back. Rye rejoiced at positive reports and an unexpected remission, and hunkered down with messages of love, support, and prayer when there were setbacks.
“In his last days, Hamish wanted to know that he made a difference,” said Cassie.
In the week since his death, this difference has manifested many times over. The Wainwright House invited community members to gather on June 3 and share memories of Hamish, collecting more than 250 handwritten cards for the family. Tributes of love and support flooded social media, from friends and neighbors to Rye High students, teachers, principal, football and rugby teams, as well as the Rye Fire Department, with whom Hamish helped deliver presents last Christmas.
John Harbaugh, coach of Hamish’s beloved New York Giants, held a press conference to announce: “We lost a great fan today, a great friend,” offering heartfelt condolences from the team. Harbaugh’s video clip kicked off Sunday’s service, one detail Hamish may not have planned but would surely have approved.
The Rev. Stone left mourners with one other request: “Don’t disappear.”
“Let’s keep showing up with acts of kindness, even when no one is looking,” he said. “Let’s reach out, share stories, check in … in the days, weeks, and months ahead. This community always shows up so beautifully. Let’s keep doing what we do best. Be like Hamish. Smile. Be kind. Be quick to love.”
Hamish was a master builder who left an indelible mark — and some wise and loving thoughts for his friends and family. His sister, Lola, said in her reflection: “The message Hamish carried with him was: Be strong, but not too strong. Be smart, but not too smart. Always help someone smile. Do something nice for someone today.
“Now you can go have fun.”
