When Dr. Sunita Sah was a child, she was praised for being obedient.
Trusting authority, following instructions, and saying “yes” were not recommendations but expectations. However, with the help of time and a career that has spanned continents and professions, the Rye resident, a physician-turned-organizational psychologist, began to question whether compliance was always the virtue it was made out to be.
Sah brings her exploration of compliance to a broader audience with her new self-help book, “DEFY: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes” — a national bestseller, Axiom Business Book Award Gold Medalist, and Financial Times Best Business Book of the Month. In it, she invites readers to examine the invisible pressures that shape their decisions and offers a practical framework for pushing back with clarity and conviction.
Reflecting on her own experience, Sah admits that defiance did not come naturally.
“I’ve struggled with the tension between being ‘good’ and standing up for what’s right,” she said in an interview. “That’s why I wrote this book — to give people the tools I wish I’d had growing up.”
Sah, an award-winning professor at Cornell University, is a leading expert in the study of influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. Along the way, she has observed a persistent pattern: From classrooms to clinics to boardrooms, people often hesitate to speak up — even when they know something is wrong.
“In school, I watched teachers abuse their authority,” she recalled. “Later, as a physician, I saw how doctors, nurses, and patients often stayed silent. That silence came not from ignorance, but from fear, social pressure, and a desire to avoid disruption.”
Sah’s experiences became the foundation for “DEFY,” a book that blends research, personal narrative, and actionable guidance. It’s not a how-to guide for rebellion, but a call to action for deliberate, values-based resistance — especially in moments when silence feels like the easier choice.
Last month, Sah shared her message locally at a Read in Rye event hosted by Arcade Booksellers. That “was truly a special moment for me,” she said. “Writing is often a solitary endeavor, so seeing friends, neighbors, familiar and new faces, connect with the book, ask insightful questions, and share their own experiences with defiance made it all the more meaningful.”
While much of Sah’s research is focused on systemic issues in healthcare and organizational culture, she believes the principles of “DEFY” apply just as powerfully to everyday life — and particularly to communities like Rye.
“Close-knit communities have both advantages and challenges when it comes to defiance,” she said. “On one hand, there’s a strong sense of support, which can make it easier to rally around shared values. On the other hand, however, the pressure to maintain harmony — whether in schools, social circles, or local politics — can make it harder to challenge the status quo.”
So how does one begin to answer Sah’s call to defy? She suggested people of all ages start small. “A ‘True No’ is about conviction,” she said. “It’s knowing your values and standing by them, even when there’s pressure to conform.”
To that end, Sah recommended “questioning things in everyday situations, such as telling your friends that excluding someone from the group is unfair; building allies with those who support your perspective, and remembering that defiance is most effective when it’s thoughtful, not impulsive.”
Sah, who is especially passionate about helping parents, teachers, and mentors cultivate a “defy mindset” in young people, noted that children quickly learn when and how to question authority — making it essential to empower them early, with an eye toward future implications.
“If we only reward compliance,” she warned, “we risk raising young adults who struggle to advocate for themselves in their education, work, or personal relationships.”
At its core, “DEFY” asks readers to examine the quiet forces that shape their choices and to respond with courage, even in small ways. “Defiance,” she said, “is not just saying no to something that is not right — it’s saying yes to the world you want to create.”
And for Sah, that world begins right here in Rye.
