Santa’s Secret List Exposed!

Santa, the original global-mobile app, Wakes from his analog winter’s nap, And taking up pen and real paper too, Composes his list, just like me and you.

December 6, 2011
2 min read

santathumbSanta, the original global-mobile app, Wakes from his analog winter’s nap, And taking up pen and real paper too, Composes his list, just like me and you.

 

By T W McDermott

 

Santa, the original global-mobile app,
Wakes from his analog winter’s nap,
And taking up pen and real paper too,
Composes his list, just like me and you.

A DVD of “It’s A Wonderful Life” for Angela Merkel.

 

A dozen Tiffany sterling silver handcuffs for MF Global

 

santaTalbot’s Gift Card for Lady GagaCoal for the ones who thought up Black Friday, Greek Bonds, and offshore call-centers

 

Six ounces of gold for the inventor of E-ZPass

 

A Kim Kardashian avatar for every NBA player

 

A vintage toy Edsel for the founders of Groupon

 

Coal for the ones who scheduled a World Series game in November, hyped Irene everywhere except where she actually caused devastation, and turned the Sports page into the Police Blotter.

 

A biography of Che Guevera for Warren Buffet

 

A biography of W.C. Fields for the Republican candidates

 

Original oil paintings of Shanghai’s Pudong District for all 435 members of Congress

 

Coal for the ones who went into fracking after they closed their subprime mortgage agencies; turned Williamsburg, Brooklyn into the Museum of Temporary Art; and would not let the Texas Rangers register just one more strike.

 

One copy of the “Autobiography of Andrew Cuomo” for Governor Cuomo

 

One hundred copies of the Cliff Notes version of Gibbon’s “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” for the U.S. Senate.

 

Another mirror, with stepstool, for Mayor Mike.

 

Coal for the ones who take with both hands and hire no one; who love and adore Steve Jobs now that he’s gone, but wouldn’t let the Steve Jobs of this world within ten miles of their own HQ’s; who created the 15-month-long presidential campaign to enrich themselves and put everyone else to sleep.

 

A facelift from Bruce Jenner’s surgeon for the Red Sox, a new owner from Earth for the Dodgers, the World’s Dumbest Billionaire to help the Mets, and Tony Bennett singing “I Left My You Know What You Know Where”, while winding his way down Lombard Street in the victory parade.

 

A new bridge by the old restaurant, a happy 100th to Manursing Island Club, a clue about the Most Secret Playland Plan in The History of the World, and a contract renewal for the parking meters that never work.

Filed Under:
Subscribe and get freshly baked articles. Join the community!
Begin typing your search above and press return to search. Press Esc to cancel.

kuwin

iplwin

my 11 circle

betway

jeetbuzz

satta king 786

betvisa

winbuzz

dafabet

rummy nabob 777

rummy deity

yono rummy

shbet

kubet

winbuzz

daman games

winbuzz

betvisa

betvisa

betvisa

baji999

marvelbet

krikya

Dbbet

Nagad88

Babu88

Six6s

Bhaggo

Elonbet

yono rummy

rummy glee

rummy perfect

rummy nabob

rummy modern

rummy wealth

jeetbuzz

iplwin

yono rummy

rummy deity

rummy app

betvisa

lotus365

hi88

8day

97win

n88

red88

king88

j88

i9bet

good88

nohu78

99ok

bet168

betvisa

satta king

satta matta matka

betvisa

mostplay

4rabet

leonbet

pin up

mostbet

rummy modern

Fastwin Login

Khela88

Fancywin

Jita Ace

Betjili

Betvisa

Babu88

jeetwin

nagad88

jaya9

joya 9

khela88

babu88

babu888

mostplay

marvelbet

baji999

abbabet

Jaya9

Mostbet

MCW

Jeetwin

Babu88

Nagad88

Betvisa

Marvelbet

Baji999

Jeetbuzz

Mostplay

Jwin7

Melbet

Betjili

Six6s

Krikya

Jitabet

Glory Casino

Betjee

Jita Ace

Crickex

Winbdt

PBC88

R777

Jitawin

Khela88

Bhaggo