Col. Thomas J. Barber, a retired U.S. Air Force command pilot, died on April 7, 2024, in Southbury, Conn.

Born on July 26, 1944, he was the middle child of Richard and Frances Barber, an attorney/city judge and legal secretary, respectively. He grew up in Rye, N.Y., where he was always “up to something” – once driving the family car through the garage wall, charging the neighborhood kids to walk through his family’s backyard.

From a young age, Tom (“Torch”) Barber was happiest with his feet off the ground. At age 9, he was “working” at Rye’s Playland Amusement Park, helping to run the motorboat concession – a job he loved. In retirement, he spent lots of time on the water once again, sailing around in his boat, the “Mission Accomplished” On his first airplane trip as a child, he became fascinated with flight, which put him on the path to flying lessons in Vermont and a 23-year career with the U.S. Air Force.

He attended Catholic schools throughout his life, earning an undergraduate degree at St. Michael’s College in Burlington, Vt., where he joined ROTC and graduated as a first lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force. Helping to pin on his rank, on June 6, 1966, was his future wife, Joanne. They were married the following year.

Upon completing pilot training, he was thrilled to be assigned to “fighters” and began preparations to serve in Vietnam. He flew 207 combat missions, received many commendations, and learned first- hand, with the loss of so many comrades, that war is indeed hell.

He was then assigned to Bitburg Air Force Base, West Germany, where he and Joanne would receive “basic training” for their future years as an Air Force family, make lifelong friends, and enjoy wonderful travel opportunities.

Colonel Barber’s proudest moments as an Air Force officer came when he was given com- mand assignments: the first in 1981 as Commander of the 94th Tactical Fighter Squadron, Langley AFB, Virginia, known as the Hat-in-the-Ring squadron; the second in 1986 as Commander of the 48th Tactical Fighter Wing, RAF Lakenheath, United Kingdom, known as the Liberty Wing. During his career, in addition to flying in training aircraft (the T38 being a favorite), he piloted the F4 Phantom, the F15 Eagle, and the F111 Aardvark.

Among the military decorations he received were the Defense Superior Service Medal, the Legion of Merit, Distinguished Flying Cross with one oak leaf cluster, the Air Medal with 13 oak leaf clusters, the Meritorious Service Medal with two oak leaf clusters, the Air Force Outstanding Unit Citation with Valor Device, and the Republic of Vietnam Service Medal with three Bronze Stars.

Mr. Barber retired from the Air Force in 1988. His last assignment was as Assistant to the Supreme Commander Allied Powers Europe. He went on to a success- ful second career as an executive with several businesses, including Lockheed Martin and Telephonics Corporation, until his civilian retirement in 2016.

He loved his family, his friends, his country, his boat, a good book, and a Beefeater on the rocks with several olives. Above all, he loved to laugh and have fun. Tom Barber’s big toothy grin and the devilish glint in his sparkling blue eyes will long be remembered. “Fly safe, dear Tom, we will miss you.”

In addition to his wife Joanne, he is survived by three children, Tom, Chris, and Nicole (James); five grandchildren, Owen, Dylan, Olivia, Jimmy, and Joey; and his siblings, Richard (Marilyn) Barber, Patricia Spacavento, Marylou Harvey, and Joan (Mitchell) Syp.

A Mass will be held at St. John of the Cross Church in Middlebury, Conn., on Friday, May 3, at 11 a.m. Following the service, all are invited to join the family for a party to celebrate his wonderful life at 72 Nick Road in Middlebury, the home of Nicole Barber and James Christiano. He will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Contributions in Tom Barber’s memory may be made to the Lewy Body Dementia Association.