As the school year begins, many children and teens return to a schedule that is busier than ever.
School, homework, sports, clubs, dance, music lessons, jobs, volunteering, and social commitments can quickly fill every hour of the day, seven days a week. While these opportunities help young people grow, they can also leave them feeling overwhelmed and stressed if they don’t have the skills and support to manage it all.
For most kids, the executive functioning and stress management skills required to manage multiple classes, daily assignments, and longterm projects, in addition to extracurricular activities and other commitments aren’t developed overnight. Students need guidance and support as early as possible.
Teach Your Kids About Prioritizing
How can parents help?
Start by sitting down with your child once a week to help them plan and prioritize what’s ahead. Offer help like, “Let’s take a look at what you have coming up this week.” Be sure to cover assignments, practices, games, or extra curriculars. Then try to prioritize by asking, “What needs to get done first? And is there anything that can wait until later?” Over time, this practice will help them develop their own skills for planning their time without becoming overwhelmed.
Parents should also recognize there may not be enough hours in the day or week for every commitment. A student who comfortably balanced multiple sports in elementary school may find that middle and high school academics, clubs, volunteerism, or increased homework make that same schedule unrealistic. A helpful way to assess this is to plot every activity – including the school day and homework – on an 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily calendar, including weekends. This helps everyone visualize how much time is left for downtime, meals, and sleep. Ask your child to rank their extracurricular activities from most enjoyable to least. If something has to give, start with the activities that bring the least meaning or joy, or stick with what they’re best at.
Listen to your kids
If your child is telling you, “I never have time to do anything I want to do,” please listen. Many adults assume sports and extracurricular activities count as downtime. After all, these activities can support youth mental wellness, engage kids with the community, and even have the benefit of adding to a college resume. But for many kids, their practices, games, performances, and competitions require effort, concentration, achievement, and can cause chronic stress, poor sleep, and burnout. Setting aside even 30 minutes each day without homework, practices, or screens can help kids recharge. Studies show consistent downtime supports brain power and learning, as well as mental, emotional, and physical health.
Just as important as helping children stay organized is checking in on their emotional health and helping them develop ways to balance and manage stress.
Instead of asking, “How was your day?” try asking, “What’s been the most stressful part of your week?” Or ask, “Do you feel like you have enough time to do everything? What’s one thing that would make this week easier?” Or, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed do you feel today?”
Some stress is both normal and healthy, like feeling nervous before a test, a performance, or the first day of school. The goal isn’t to eliminate stress, but to help children develop skills, confidence, and resilience to manage it before it builds to where they feel like they can’t cope. When their levels of stress become disruptive, it’s time to pay attention.
Warning signs that may require professional support include frequent crying, headaches or stomachaches, trouble sleeping, irritability, withdrawing from friends or family, losing interest in activities they once enjoyed, dreading school, or regularly feeling overwhelmed.
This school year, remember that a young person can thrive when they know how to plan, prioritize, ask for help, care for their mental health, and recognize when it’s okay to slow down. Success is in the balance.
Lisa Dominici is executive director of the Rye Youth Council, a nonprofit organization focused on students’ emotional health and well-being.
