While most parents of a high school senior are on tenterhooks for news of college acceptances this time of year, one would assume Trish Killip is anxious to the nth degree. In a class by herself, she is the mother of not one, but three 18-year-old high school seniors, all in different schools. Juliana is finishing up at Holy Child, Katie at Rye High School, and Matthew at Fordham Prep.
By Janice Llanes Fabry
While most parents of a high school senior are on tenterhooks for news of college acceptances this time of year, one would assume Trish Killip is anxious to the nth degree. In a class by herself, she is the mother of not one, but three 18-year-old high school seniors, all in different schools. Juliana is finishing up at Holy Child, Katie at Rye High School, and Matthew at Fordham Prep.
As she does with most things, however, Trish has taken the triple college application process in stride. “Oddly enough, it was probably easier having the three,” she explained. “I had them each pick three colleges and told them to make each choice matter before visiting schools separately. We divided and conquered.”
Trish and her husband Doug have raised their children here in Rye with great aplomb, which they seem to have passed on to their kids. The family has had considerable practice settling into day-to-day routines in tandem and reaching milestones in three’s. As Trish observed, “The kids all arrived in kindergarten the same day, and the same with their communions and confirmations. Two even share a birthday. It’s how we roll.”
Married for 24 years, Trish and Doug met as students at Boston College. Trish said, “We always knew we’d be parents and as life unfolded discovered that adoption was our first choice.” In 1993 they started the process. Through the Foundation for Assistance of Abandoned Children, for kids whose parents relinquish parental rights, they adopted Juliana in Bogotá, Colombia. When Trish first laid eyes on her at two months old, she recalled, “They put her in my arms and right away I thought, ‘Okay, God, I got it.’”
When they made that fateful trip to Colombia, as nature would have it, Trish was already pregnant with twins. “We all went together, so to speak,” she likes to say. “Juliana came home at four months and Katie and Matthew were born four months later.”
Having worked as a teacher at Dobbs Ferry High School for ten years, Trish became a stay-at-home mom with three babies to fill her days and nights. Her hands full, she remembers days upon days of feeding one right after the other and then starting all over again. “When they were little, it was exhausting times three,” she admitted. “But you just remember the good. They’re like having a good breakfast, a good lunch, and a good dinner all at once. They’re all great meals.”
With a three-to-one ratio, however, life wasn’t always easy. Mother’s Day Tea at Midland Elementary School proved to be quite a juggling act. “I went from classroom to classroom to classroom. It was one of the hardest days!” she recalled.
Unfortunately, there have been more arduous times for the Killips. When Matthew was 12, he was diagnosed with Legg-Calve-Perthes, a childhood disease associated with inadequate blood supply to the femur and hip joint, resulting in the bone dying off. With unwavering optimism and a good-natured disposition, he went on to Fordham Preparatory School in the Bronx.
“I wanted a new start at a Jesuit school, where my grandfather and cousins went,” he said. “Meeting so many new kids at Fordham Prep has been an amazing experience. It broadened my world.”
During his sophomore year, Matthew discovered yet another challenge to overcome. The moment Trish received a call from his doctor on a Sunday afternoon she knew something was terribly wrong. Matthew had a brain tumor. After having the benign growth removed shortly afterwards, he made a full recovery and caught up on all his schoolwork. With a quiet resilience, Trish conceded, “Life’s a balance.”
This year, Matthew had hip preservation surgery to prolong an inevitable hip replacement. Currently on crutches, the kind and determined young man is certain he’ll be good to go for college. “I can’t wait to play basketball again.” He also acknowledged, “My sisters encouraged me when I needed encouraging. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ll be best friends for life.”
Katie agreed about the ups and downs, but admitted, “There have been more ups. What I have always loved most was having my brother and sister to hang out with, especially on vacation. We were never bored.” Katie has also loved the “solid friendships” she developed locally at Rye High School, where she played field hockey and basketball and ran track.
Juliana, on the other hand, cherished her experience at Holy Child. “I liked the smaller size classes. It was the perfect fit for me,” she said. About her relationship with Matthew and Katie, she said, “Though they might be twins, I feel like we’re triplets.”
Now that the Killip kids are grown, Trish has gone back to work, at St. Ignatius School in the Bronx. She is dedicated to bringing the Windward School’s effective, multi-sensory reading program to this student population, whom she’s convinced it will benefit tremendously. It’s truly a labor of love for Trish, who refused a salary, asking that the money be put back into their programs. Her plan is to work at St. Ignatius full-time once her trio goes off to college.
“This next venture is my real passion and life’s work following raising kids,” she said. “It’s time to pay it forward.”
In the meantime, the Killips are still waiting for college news and all look forward to their imminent high school graduations.
“They’re all on different days!” Trish noted enthusiastically. “This is the first graduation they haven’t shared.”
Come August, Trish and Doug will have to adjust to an empty nest in one fell swoop. Realistic as ever and joyful for her kids, Trish remarked, “It feels right, so right it will be. I just want to say to them, ‘well done.’ After all, it’s about their journey.”