When Trevor Noah, host of The Daily Show, recently asked Mayor Bill de Blasio why out of all the candidates running for President he had the best chance of defeating Donald Trump, his response was: “Because the tallest candidate almost always wins.” Sadly for no one, Sasquatch who is polling at 0 percent and failed to garner the requisite 130,000 unique donors, did not qualify for the third Democratic debate later this month. (It should be remembered that Carter defeated Ford, Bush dispatched Kerry, and Obama resoundingly beat Romney, and that was just in the last 40 years.)

Heading back to Gracie Mansion from Brooklyn after the Labor Day holiday, the 109^th mayor of New York City apparently has accepted the fact that mayor is the highest political office he will be elected to. And if that’s the case, why not Rye! He has set his sights on our recently Democratic-leaning city and will challenge incumbent Josh Cohn in 2021. His campaign strategy is: “There is plenty of money in this town, it is just in the wrong hands.”

Currently embroiled in a legal battle with billionaires over the location of a homeless shelter in New York City, that most likely will not be resolved during his remaining time in office, de Blasio feels that Rye is the perfect community in which to relocate the rising number of homeless in the metropolis.

If elected, his first act as mayor will be to construct a shelter on the first fairway of Apawamis Club. We could not get a definitive answer on whether the new residents would have access to club facilities and if there would be restrictions on pool hours. Meanwhile, recommendation to all golfers: Take a mid-iron off the tee to guarantee height. We want to make our newcomers feel welcome.

A staunch critic of Trump’s immigration policy, de Blasio wants to decriminalize crossings at our southern border. Realizing that Rye cannot handle the population in our detention centers, he plans to narrow the scope on who can cross into town. Non-citizens over 55 can enter the de Blasio Lottery system with any ICE agent for a chance to win a free apartment at the soon-to-be completed St. Regis Residence. No word yet if our new active adult residents would have access to the Cognac Room, the golf simulator, or the electric car charging station.

The man who brought universal pre-K to New York City would like to do the same for our town on the Sound. How would he fund it? You do the math. If your home is valued at $2 million, your property tax assessment would be $75,000. For every million dollars more that a property is worth, the taxes would go up 20 percent. Hello, Rye!

Nate Silver, one of the foremost political pollsters, has given Mayor Cohn an 81 percent chance to win a second term. Coincidentally, that was the same number he gave to Hillary Clinton in 2016.