Christmas Far From Home

This year, as for nearly all of this country’s history, thousands of American families will spend the holiday season far away from loved ones; sons, daughters, fathers, and mothers; all of whom are serving their country in the armed services. A number of Rye families are part of this group, though many of us know little of who they are or of the sacrifices they make each and every day.

By Walt Mardis

Needless to say, this patriotism has come with a price. At this time of year, having that son or daughter thousands of miles away, often at great risk, creates an even bigger challenge. Rita and Robert Schubert’s son, Christopher, is a naval navigator on a P3 Orion stationed in Washington State. He previously was deployed in the Middle East flying reconnaissance missions out of Qatar. “Not having him home at Christmas time is especially tough,” shared his mother. “Luckily we had SKYPE when he was deployed overseas, but seeing him in person so seldom is a challenge.”

Rye Judge Joe Latwin echoes those sentiments. “Our son Stewart is stationed at Norfolk Naval Base and is constantly on call. We never know until the last minute whether or when we might be able to see him.”

Tish Stuebe, whose son Riley is finishing up his marine officer training course in the California desert, will hopefully be home for a brief Christmas visit, but may also find out at the same time if he is to be deployed sometime soon to an overseas posting. “It’s hard to take,” she admitted, “and very challenging knowing what he may have to end up doing. “Nevertheless,” she continued, “he’s 27 years old and has to make his own decisions and follow the path that’s right for him.”

For those families whose sons are directly in harm’s way, it is especially trying, as Cindy Savage and her husband Terry know first hand. Both of their sons volunteered for the marines and both spent tours in Iraq. “Every day was hard,” Cindy said. “Each morning I scanned the casualty lists on my computer, fearing the worst.” Both sons came home safely and have returned to the civilian world. Her husband Terry was also a Marine and served in Vietnam.

While all of these parents talk of the challenges and the sacrifices, every one of them emphasizes how proud they are of their sons. Each describes the similar reasons that motivated their son or daughter to join. Love of country and a feeling they needed to do their part seems to characterize all of them. Each went into the service by choice; either through the naval academy (Christopher Schubert and Stewart Latwin) or directly into the Marines (Ward and Grant Savage and Riley Stuebe).

Judge Latwin says that Stewart wanted to be in Navy since he was 6 and had an application for the Academy on his desk by the time he was 10. Ward, who had graduated from college and was working for Morgan Stanley told his parents that in the aftermath of 9/11, he just felt he had to do give something back. Riley, who is engaged, showed his fiancé two pictures of him in fatigues; one taken recently and one when he was 7. “He always wanted to be a soldier,” said his mom.

All of the parents report that their friends and the Rye community have been supportive of them and their sons. “We had lots of friends sending care boxes to Iraq, and Rye Country Day organized efforts to send packages with some of the extra things soldiers need while overseas,” said Cindy.

At the same time military families often feel somewhat apart from the community, being a little different from everyone else. One mother said she occasionally gets insensitive comments from acquaintances. Another parent said, “I’m not sure that a lot of people fully understand what sorts of sacrifices are being made on their behalf.”

The best of wishes to all our men and women in the armed services this holiday season and beyond.

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