“And just think,” said the Harvard Club Events Manager, “the wedding party will have the special pleasure of using glassware and plates all bearing the Harvard logo!” 

By Peter Jovanovich

“And just think,” said the Harvard Club Events Manager, “the wedding party will have the special pleasure of using glassware and plates all bearing the Harvard logo!”

 

As I listened to his sales pitch, looking up at all the dead animals shot by former American presidents mounted on the club’s walls, I thought: Boolah, Boolah. We’re seeking the best place to hold a wedding, not a pep rally.

 

Looking for the perfect place to hold a wedding isn’t easy these days. Everyone is trying to stay within a budget, and everyone has opinions. We asked several local experts for some sound advice.

 

“Don’t seek perfection,” advises Wainwright House Executive Director Hilary Jones. “This is your very special day, and you don’t want to get stressed out and unhappy attempting to achieve perfection. You want a turn-key operation, where all the details are taken care of for you.”

 

Tom Cherniavsky, General Manager of Manursing Island Club, echoed her remarks. “First and foremost, you want to choose a place where you can trust the professionals to take care of things. I’ve rarely seen every detail of a wedding go as planned. The key is finding an experienced staff and trusting them to overcome every glitch along the way.”

 

And, in finding a place, don’t be afraid to ask tough questions. For example, Andrew Richter, Director of Sales of Whitby Castle at Rye Golf Club, advises: “Tour the prospective venues in person, with family and friends. Have a list of vital questions, stick to list, and take notes. Get everything in writing, so that you can be sure everything is included in the contract.”

 

“And don’t sign on the spot,” stresses Gary Stone of Cornerstone Caterers. “Ask for a seven-day hold.”

 

Brides and grooms should even interview the chefs, says Mr. Cherniavsky. Ask them how they food is prepared and when. “You don’t want to discover that dinner was sitting in warming ovens for 30 minutes during the interminable best man speech and that the food is inedible.”

 

Of course, you need to choose not only a staff but a place. “Memories are what every bride and groom want more than anything else. And the physical beauty of the venue helps create marvelous memories,” says Ms. Jones.

 

“But don’t go too far in search of the perfect spot,” adds Mr. Cherniavsky. “For twenty years, I was the manager of a resort where we had many destination weddings. The further away from home, the fewer guests found that they could attend. And any location has to offer a Plan B. You may be set on the perfect hilltop wedding, but where do you go when it rains?”

 

Weddings have gotten more and more elaborate over the years (too many brides watching “Platinum Weddings”). What was a simple departure after the reception, now involves guests’ waving sparklers in the air, and bubble machines, yes bubble machines, are now de riguer. One couple actually asked a Rye venue manager if she could arrange for fireworks to go off after the vows.

 

“Don’t try to keep up with the onslaught of glitzy ideas on the Internet or reality TV. Good food, service, and entertainment, a well-thought schedule, and a well-stocked bar will ultimately result in a great party,” says Gary Stone with assurance.

 

N.B. We passed on Harvard and played for Yale. The reception for my daughter-in-law and son was held at the Yale Club. It was beautiful and joyful, with nary a “Lux et Veritas” logo in sight.