Here Comes Our Bride
Is it easier this time around? As the mother of the bride for the second time, I get asked that a lot. Our eldest daughter Jena is getting married, two years after her sister Jesi, on my parents’ wedding anniversary, an homage to her beloved grandparents.
By Janice Llanes Fabry
Is it easier this time around? As the mother of the bride for the second time, I get asked that a lot. Our eldest daughter Jena is getting married, two years after her sister Jesi, on my parents’ wedding anniversary, an homage to her beloved grandparents.
Planning “the perfect day” — just days away now! — is never as easy as the toss of a bouquet but I figured, “It isn’t my first rodeo, so I got this.” Same venue, √. Mostly the same vendors, √. Same yearlong timeline, √. Nevertheless, wedding minutiae can be as hard to contain as a bucking bronco and all brides-to-be are tough to tame. As a matter of fact, there should be a solemn vow for mothers of the bride and their daughters. “I, Janice, take you, Jena, to be my cohort for better or worse, for richer or poorer (the cost of receptions today!), all the days till your wedding.”
Along the way, my cohort and I made some discoveries. Who knew Jena had such an aversion to baby’s breath and ivy? When did brides start putting their two cents in about their own showers, anyway? The traditional surprise concept, where the blissful bride was kept in the dark, wasn’t so bad. And who knew having a 125-foot white runner at the church was so important to me? Just this morning, I actually took baby steps from the entrance at Resurrection to the altar to determine whether the runner was the exact promised length. (It is!)
Crazy maybe, but when did I become “cheesy” and “tacky?” I’ll admit that plastic silver cake topper from Party City wasn’t my finest moment, but I thought the ornate sticker with their hashtag for the hotel welcome bags was rather elegant. When did everything get hashtagged, anyway (Is it even a verb)?
Truth be told, Jena could have taken the bull by the horns just about singlehandedly. Not only is she a meticulous planner, she has always known her own mind and possessed a definitive vision and style. If she weren’t a successful digital media producer, she could have been a wedding planner.
At the same time, our daughter is still our little girl in bride’s clothing. Last fall, when we started shopping for her wedding gown at a shop off Madison Avenue, she invited her lovely mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law-to-be. When they caught sight of Jena, a vision in a lacy tulle number, they had tears of joy in their eyes. Once the salesperson placed the veil on her head, Jena, also swept up in the moment, sealed the deal and said yes to the dress.
After lots of hugs and smiles, she and I were escorted into the office so I could write the check, while the in-laws stayed in the salon with Jesi. But the moment the unsuspecting salesperson stepped out of the office to add bridal buttons to the contract, Jena looked at me with her wide green eyes and said, “Mommy, this is <not> the dress!”
Like all mothers rescuing their children from the fates, I looked her in the eye and whispered, “Don’t you worry. I’ll handle them. You break it to the in-laws.”
I definitely got the better end of that deal, and we walked out of the store with a relieved bride — sans dress. Later that day, with Matron of Honor Jesi’s stalwart support, Jena ended up choosing just the right dress for her, whimsical and romantic.
No bridezilla, Jena has included our whole family every step of the way. The most enthusiastic, ebullient person we know, we can’t help but become enraptured when she elicits our opinions. On a recent family trip, she had us all giving a thumbs up or down to each song on her reception playlist. Together, she and her dad chose the song for their much anticipated father/daughter dance from a family favorite 1967 movie soundtrack.
From the time Jena and Rich set the date till now, when we’re in the trenches, there have been countless calls and emails about everything from make-up techniques to scripture readings. And, what a prolific texter I’ve become over the last year. We’ve had an amusing back and forth with images of hairstyles, place settings, thermography, lace, floral arrangements, and candle set-ups. And, what did we ever do before Pinterest?
Yes, I suppose it has been a little easier this time around with just enough memorable trials and tribulations to have and to hold. Besides, I know from experience that when our “big girlest,” as she used to call herself, walks down the aisle to Pachelbel’s <Canon in D Major>, there will be no thoughts of boutonnieres or fonts or canapés; just our loving daughter and her wonderful groom, beaming along with the rest of us.
