Outlet Mall Economics

By Annabel Monaghan The tag says $5,000, which is exactly how much it would cost my family of five to see “Hamilton.” I went to […]

March 19, 2017
4 min read

By Annabel Monaghan

The tag says $5,000, which is exactly how much it would cost my family of five to see “Hamilton.”

I went to the outlet mall on President’s Day. I’m sure this isn’t what the Founding Fathers had in mind – our loading up on merchandise we don’t need at low, low prices. But Tom wanted to go, and I like going places with Tom, so I went along. On the drive there I vowed to come home empty handed.

You see, I’ve been to the outlet mall before. The last time I went I got really overwhelmed. There’s just so much stuff at such low prices that it’s hard to know where to put your eyes. When the fluorescent light hit the sleeve of a lavender cashmere sweater in just the right size, I knew I had to have it. I don’t wear lavender, it makes me look like a corpse, but when have you ever seen a cashmere sweater marked down to $21? It was originally $160, so I left the store with the sweater and the satisfaction of having saved $139.

I know for sure it cost $21 because it’s still in my closet with the price tag on it, a pastel reminder of why I can’t be trusted at the outlet mall.

Outlet malls are made for people like Tom. He’s a person with a plan and no ambiguous feelings about the plan. This is the major difference between the two of us and sometimes the only way our kids can tell us apart. He arrives knowing exactly what he needs, along with sizes and quantities. He transacts and then finds the most efficient way back to the car. Tom’s highly successful at the outlet mall.

I wander. I walk into a clothing store where everything is 60% off, and the salesperson hands me a scratch-off card. All of a sudden I’m on a game show. She asks me to go ahead and scratch it to see how much additional savings I’d won. 15%! The salesperson cheers. I can’t believe it. Everything in that store is going to be 66% off, just for me!

Thirty minutes and a full dressing room later, I feel like I’ve let fate down. There’s nothing I want, not one cropped top or pair of faux leather pants. A sweater is too big in one size and too small in another. I can’t make anything work, no matter how great of a deal it is. I leave the store feeling like I’ve lost the Showcase Showdown on “The Price is Right.” I was so close.

Meanwhile, Tom has his two bags full of exactly what he’d intended to buy, and he seems to be feeling anxious for me to buy something too. I wonder if shopping’s not fun unless everyone participates. Or maybe shopping’s not fun, period.

We walk by a handbag store, and I spot a brown one in the window. It’s pretty. It’s about the right size to hold a spiral notebook, but not so big that you feel like you’re hauling a high schooler’s backpack. It has some fringy stuff hanging off of the bottom that I could probably cut off. And it’s brown, making it already a better decision than my lavender sweater.

I go in to have a closer look. Bonanza! Everything in the store is 80% off. And because it’s President’s Day we get an extra 10% off. How is that even possible, I wonder. How much are normal retail items marked up in the first place if this discount still makes sense? I reach for the price tag to see just how cheap the bag is.

The tag says $5,000, which is exactly how much it would cost my family of five to see “Hamilton.” Or have our deck repaired. With my insurance, it’s the cost of three colonoscopies. And I don’t even really like the bag that much. I can’t see what’s so $5,000 about this leather rectangle. But it doesn’t matter, because I am about to get sucked into outlet mall economics.

The salesman must have registered the look on my face as I tromboned the price tag forward and back to make sure I was seeing it correctly. “It’s 80% off,” he tells me. “So it’s only $1,000. And today you get an extra 10% off so it’s $900.” Suddenly this bag is so cheap. Suddenly I’m the luckiest girl in the world. They’ve dropped this bag a whole place value. Suddenly I can’t afford not to buy it. I’d be leaving $4,100 on the table if I left the store without that bag. That’s almost enough money to take my family to see “Hamilton.”

I hate to admit that I was perilously close to spending $900 on a handbag I didn’t really like. Luckily, a woman walked in to the store wearing a pair of lime green jeans and brought me back to my senses. No one at the outlet mall was making good decisions. Well, no one but Tom.

Filed Under:
Subscribe and get freshly baked articles. Join the community!
Begin typing your search above and press return to search. Press Esc to cancel.

kuwin

iplwin

my 11 circle

betway

jeetbuzz

satta king 786

betvisa

winbuzz

dafabet

rummy nabob 777

rummy deity

yono rummy

shbet

kubet

winbuzz

daman games

winbuzz

betvisa

betvisa

betvisa

baji999

marvelbet

krikya

Dbbet

Nagad88

Babu88

Six6s

Bhaggo

Elonbet

yono rummy

rummy glee

rummy perfect

rummy nabob

rummy modern

rummy wealth

jeetbuzz

iplwin

yono rummy

rummy deity

rummy app

betvisa

lotus365

hi88

8day

97win

n88

red88

king88

j88

i9bet

good88

nohu78

99ok

bet168

betvisa

satta king

satta matta matka

betvisa

mostplay

4rabet

leonbet

pin up

mostbet

rummy modern

Fastwin Login

Khela88

Fancywin

Jita Ace

Betjili

Betvisa

Babu88

jeetwin

nagad88

jaya9

joya 9

khela88

babu88

babu888

mostplay

marvelbet

baji999

abbabet

Jaya9

Mostbet

MCW

Jeetwin

Babu88

Nagad88

Betvisa

Marvelbet

Baji999

Jeetbuzz

Mostplay

Jwin7

Melbet

Betjili

Six6s

Krikya

Jitabet

Glory Casino

Betjee

Jita Ace

Crickex

Winbdt

PBC88

R777

Jitawin

Khela88

Bhaggo