Embracing Civility in Rye

“There can be no high civility without deep morality.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“There can be no high civility without deep morality.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The path to civility is thornier than one might think. People don’t typically yell and swear here (except at sports games!), children are taught to say please and thank-you, and cars stop (most of the time) for pedestrians in the crosswalk. However, there were a few incidents over the last year and a half that gave us pause and left many of us feeling unsettled about the way we treat each other in Rye. In the depth of difficult and at times heated exchanges, we discovered that we had an opportunity to come together and reflect on what our core values are as a community and what we want them to be going forward. 

The Rye Youth Council organized several ‘Community Conversations’ to address these very important and difficult questions. The first of these gatherings involved a group of about 50 people who represented various youth and social service agencies in Rye. Members of the school board and administration were present, as were law enforcement officials, directors of community organizations, parents, and leaders of faith communities. The meeting took place at the Community Synagogue of Rye in October 2012.  Through facilitated group discussions, participants at that meeting identified the collective values that Rye seems to represent — some morally admirable and some less conducive of kindness and caring. They then generated a list of the values and behaviors that they wished were more representative of Rye. This process was repeated with several groups of middle and high school youth in Rye. 

Interestingly, there was concurrence among participants about what kinds of behaviors and values needed to shift in order for Rye to become a more compassionate community. A task group was formed out of the original ‘Community Conversation’ participants and work began on creating the Rye Civility Statement, which is published below. Months were spent in crafting language that accurately articulated the hope for positive change in Rye.  Dozens of organizations, schools, and community leaders signed on to adopt the Rye Civility Statement. Their names are listed below the statement.

This is the first formal publication of The Rye Civility Statement. However, the movement towards a culture of civility and caring has just begun. Next steps include organizations and individuals actually making changes in behavior. The Civility Committee is asking that each supporting organization come up with ‘observable actions’ that reflect the sentiment of the Civility Statement and help encourage and build positive change. One example in the works is the implementation of a Code of Conduct in all sports stadiums and playing fields in Rye.

As a reader and a member of the Rye community, what are your thoughts about furthering civility here? Are you a member of an organization that might want to be included in this process? Do you have ideas about how to create positive change?  If so, join us! Email your ideas or simply your willingness to join the task force to civility@ryeyouthcouncil.org.

It is clear that a respectful community is the result of a multitude of individual efforts. What role will you play?

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has.”  — Margaret Mead

Respectfully submitted,

Sara Braun

Civility Committee Member, and Rye Youth Council Middle School Advocate

RYE CIVILITY STATEMENT

We strive to promote a culture of civility and caring in all aspects of our community life and beyond.

We recognize, without judgment, the inherent dignity and worth of each person, group, family and organization.

We believe that all interpersonal exchanges, even adversarial ones, can be conducted with mutual respect.

We aspire to be part of a community that is rooted in acceptance, inclusion and compassion.

We accept the need for honest self-reflection and the obligation to hold each other accountable for our words and actions.

We commit to acting with integrity and living as observable models of positive civic behavior.

www.civilityinitiative.org